david, Author at Transition Pathways Coaching and Counseling

The Awareness of Unconditional Love

To have the thought of love is a good start, yet a thought of love without the awareness of love, and genuine actions of love is for not. Consider, When I have the awareness, I am love, the search for love ends.

From the divine perspective the energy of love, is what the spirit is and how it operates. Love is one of the fundamental energies and laws that governs and drives the universe.

All that makes up the universe, is a unique entity, yet part of the whole. Everything is connected to the energy of Source. Everything is rooted in unconditional love and acceptance by this Source. Because unconditional love and acceptance is in the spirit of all the exist.

I believe, there is one aspect or trait of love that separates God’s love from human love. This being, divine love is truly unconditional, it holds no expectations or demands for its love. Its love by Freedom, The Ancient Greeks called Divine centered love, “Agape Love.”

Human love is often conditional and driven by expectations, its ego centered love, so it is more love by possession, I need you on my terms and my ways. The Greeks called this “Eros Love.”

The energy of you, that which is human, temporary, and egoic and that which is eternal and soul; is loved and accepted, by God, with no exceptions. Divine energy loves and accepts you no matter what, because you are the creation, expression, and energy of the divine.

The Source of all, knows and sees you beyond your human personality and ways. God knows you are not your human body, not your gender, your skin color, your bank account, you are not that disability, not your self-created ego. You are not the errors with some of your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.

For these are energies and aspects of your personality choosing to play the temporary human experience. The energy of the soul and the over-arching energy of spirit are not bound nor defined by the illusion of ego, density, time, and space. This is what makes the soul infinite.

Each of Us is a Miracle of Love.

Marianne Williamson says: “Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.”

“God is but Love, and therefore so am I.” – A Course in Miracles, Lesson 179

“God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us.” – 1 John 47:17

Since we are of creation and an expression of God, we are love. The eternal truth “I am Love” forever exists. It is our human thought and belief system that either accepts and embraces “I am Love” or denies, thus rejects it. Yet even if the human personality denies this love. This energy of love is still present through the awareness, the knowing of the soul. So, the truth of God’s love and that I am Love, is ever present, thru the higher-wiser self.

It’s not who we love, it’s that we love.

Can You

Can you love instead of fear?
Can you love midst life’s uncertainty?
Can you love what is your unknown?
Can you love when it hurts?
Can you love through your tears when others don’t seem to care?
Can you love when it seems unfair?
Can you love in your despair?
Can you love when it’s not fun and want to run?
Can you love the parts you’ve hidden;
the ones you think aren’t there with you?
Can you love the one who you see in the mirror?
Can you love others when they don’t love you back?
Can you love those who don’t love themselves?
Can you Just Be Love?

The Energy of Divine Love

Love is the energy that holds space for all that is, including you and me
It is seamless and timeless.
Its flow cannot be stopped, for it is existence.
It is made of both the formless and the formed.
Divine Love cannot be hurt;
Since it does not define itself by that which it is not.
Its patience never waivers.
When seen as the Divine sees,
We recognize its beauty is limitless and majestic, yet, simplistic.
It gives and receives without expectations or judgment.
This energy dwells both in light and darkness.
It transcends separation and duality,
Through unconditional love, acceptance, and grace.
It knows itself as I AM.
As the originator of love, it holds no measure.
In its emptiness there is nothing but fullness of all that is.
This energy is the breath of awareness and acceptance,
And the heartbeat of compassion and forgiveness.
Divine energy is the beginning that has no ending,
The eternal vibrational presence of Love.

Spirit is the State of Grace Forever.

We are part of this spirit. So, we are in a state of grace and love forever. The problem, thus the struggle occurs by one’s resistance to accept and believe the truth of this statement. To come home to the truth that we are in a state of grace, that we are love, innocence, and goodness. This is to remember; this is to come home to God and to our I Am enteral energy and presence. Just Be Love, for love is all there is.

Defenselessness and Higher Consciousness

As I’ve studied human behavior, consciousness and stages of readiness for change. There seems to be a direct correlation between one’s willingness to be more defenseless, i.e., in one’s inner power and knowing, which allows the person to be in higher states of consciousness, thus respond, rather than react in life situations. Allow me to explain this idea.

Lesson 153 in A Course in Miracles says: “In my defenselessness my safety lies.

1. You who feel threatened by this changing world, its twists of fortune and its bitter jests, its brief relationships and all the “gifts” it merely lends to take away again; attend this lesson well. The world provides no safety. It is rooted in attack, and all its “gifts” of seeming safety are illusory deceptions. It attacks, and then attacks again. No peace of mind is possible where danger threatens thus.

2. The world gives rise but to defensiveness. For threat brings anger, anger makes attack seem reasonable, honestly provoked, and righteous in the name of self-defense. Yet is defensiveness a double threat. For it attests to weakness, and sets up a system of defense that cannot work. Now are the weak still further undermined, for there is treachery without and still a greater treachery within. The mind is now confused, and knows not where to turn to find escape from its imaginings.

3. It is as if a circle held it fast, wherein another circle bound it and another one in that, until escape no longer can be hoped for nor obtained. Attack, defense; defense, attack, become the circles of the hours and the days that bind the mind in heavy bands of steel with iron overlaid, returning but to start again. There seems to be no break nor ending in the ever-tightening grip of the imprisonment upon the mind.

4. Defenses are the costliest of all the prices which the ego would exact. In them lies madness in a form so grim that hope of sanity seems but to be an idle dream, beyond the possible. The sense of threat the world encourages is so much deeper, and so far beyond the frenzy and intensity of which you can conceive, that you have no idea of all the devastation it has wrought.” ̶ A Course in Miracles, Lesson 153 (1-4).

Force, a Distorted Power
It is the Victim energy (why me, poor me, I lose, I hate myself), thinking and behaving). Or the Fighter energy, with its (resentment, hatred, blame, greed, I win, and you lose), thinking and behaving. These are lower forms of consciousness and behaviors, and energy drainers. They give the victim or fighter a distorted meaning and use of true power, that is based on fear not love.

Most of humanity is in one of these two energies and consciousness or a combination of the two. People in these lower levels, have unresolved emotional trauma and wounds and they are too responsible for their traumatic experiences/wounds. “All my fault.” Or they take little to no responsibility for their painful experiences, “All someone else’s fault.”

Many people with fighter or persecutor energy and beliefs will seek power and control in intimidatingly and forceful ways. They often felt as victims growing up, being bullied by an adult figure or peers, so they struggle with insecurities and the way they hide or protect their insecurities, is to become a bully or persecutor themselves.

The victim and fighter, also struggle with a misunderstanding of responsibility. How the individual has learned and decided to show up in life. These two ways of being are on the extreme ends of the responsibility continuum, so its distorted and out balance. They either take on too much responsibility (emotionally owning much more than is really theirs to be responsible for) or they take little to no responsibility for their own choices and actions ; thus blaming others for the outcomes. In life, this becomes, more dysfunctional/unhealthy than functional/healthy. Their way of seeking power is by forcing to get their needs met. In their ego mindset it seems empowering to them, yet in true reality its actually disempowering them.

Many people have a distorted understanding of and use of “power.” Many equate power as authority and the right to use force over someone or something. Often people who are wounded, especially emotionally and if these wounds aren’t reconciled from within, the wounded person likely hurt others. Just look at the amount of violence occurring these days. How people are hurting other people or destroying property as a way to have a sense of power and control in their lives. The reality is, we hurt others because we are hurting.

This is not true power or freedom. Rather in these forms of consciousness their way of gaining power by force, is making them more powerless and creates more inner discontent, bondage, not true freedom. This way of thinking, acting and being is the opposite of how our soul and higher realms intend for us to be and live. It is ego and fear based. The ego has gotten too defensive and reactive for survival. A person has walled off their heart (their life force energy and love) for protection from further hurt at the expense and neglect of the soul and higher wiser knowing.

True Power
True power does not include force, true power comes from surrender, what I call “Spiritual Surrender.” With spiritual surrender is not about giving up or giving in as the ego believes. Spiritual surrender is the willingness and ability to “let go” in order to gain or benefit for self and/or others.

Higher levels of consciousness, involve a willingness to understand others, offering acceptance, compassion, forgiveness, and a sense of oneness, i.e. connection with all. This is the path and acts to obtain the true sense and use of Power. For these are components and acts of Love. In these forms of consciousness the individual has likely reconciled or is on the path of reconciling their emotional and spiritual wounds and false beliefs. They take healthy and appropriate responsibility for how they show up in life. These ways of consciousness and behaviors enhance one’s energy, offering a sense of empowerment, and often impacts those around them in positive ways and seeks to empower others. True power seeks power-with, not power over. In these ways, one has no need for force, for they understand as Jesus said and lived: “In my defenselessness my safety lies.”

The more I Accept “what is”, the more I let go, the greater my sense of inner power, confidence and freedom will be. These higher levels of consciousness are driven more by opening to and accessing the wisdom and knowing of our three higher minds, located in our heart, our gut and parts of our brain. These higher levels of consciousness are driven more by, seeking to Understand, by Acceptance, Compassion and Forgiveness. The lower conscious levels view life experiences as: “life is happening to me.” Sees life as the “threat and enemy.” Higher forms of consciousness, view life as happening “for me and through me.” Views life as the “opportunity and teacher.” Which is the true intent of our life as a soul having this human experience, here in the earth school.

Much of the chaos and such, happening with humanity, not just currently, but throughout human history, in individual countries and globally, can be view and a countries leaders, a group or individual need to compete for others energy, thus the need for Power by using Force, i.e., react to life. They struggle with fear, perhaps even hate life, so they resist, give up, or fight against life and others. While some countries have leaders and/or individuals, groups who stay present and centered in their inner power, have the knowing that in their defenselessness their safety lies, i.e., they respond to life, rather than react. They embrace and love life, so they flow with and through it, in more loving and thriving ways.

Love, the Divine Attributes and the Serenity Prayer

Note: This is a except from a chapter in my book, Just Be Love. I have updated this in blog form to address the importance of the Divine Attributes and the Serenity Prayer with our current experience with the Coronavirus.

Let love guide my heart, wisdom guide my mind and power-with guide my soul.

Attempting to explain the attributes of God is like trying to describe the indescribable. We can only imagine as we take in the totality of our earthly surroundings, look up at the sky, and wonder how all this takes place in the Creator’s wondrous universe

Around the world, many religious and spiritual traditions have four ways to describe the all-ness of God. Describing God as all powerful. The second, God is all present, God is everywhere, in all things seen and unseen. The third meaning, God is all knowing. Lastly, God is all loving, infinitely good.

There are three Divine attributes, known as: Power, Love and Wisdom. It can be said that God’s Power, Love and Wisdom is always present.

The Divine attributes of Power, Love and Wisdom are offered as tools for the soul’s earthly existence. Souls, through the human condition choose how they use these tools as part of their soul agreement. Power is offered so we may learn to create, to relate and to serve. Love is intended to provide the experience and learning environment for us to understand what we came here for, and to promote harmony through a peaceful existence within ourselves and all earthly inhabitants. Wisdom is attained when we’ve kept our minds on the higher path of spiritual growth. The soul seeks to experience and know who God is through these attributes, learning and discerning the right use of them.

The Divine Attributes and the Serenity Prayer

I’ve come to realize a correlation with the divine attributes and the lines in the Serenity Prayer. The Serenity Prayer, used by many 12-step programs throughout the world, was written by Reinhold Niebuhr, and adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous groups in the early 1940’s. Here is the familiar version.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

It was the AA’s intent to adopt this prayer as a means of assisting people who were struggling with alcohol addiction. It offers a pathway to inner peace and freedom from the grips of shame and addictive behavior. I believe this prayer forms a bridge from making self-destructive choices that come from our lower mind to choices that are more from our higher mind, thus more constructive.

I believe, this prayer is useful for all of us attempting to overcome the human struggle of choices and change. Especially in our current time of the Coronavirus. With its uncertainty, yet tremendous opportunity for personal and collective growth. The virus, is creating yet another choice point in human evolution. Which is, our willingness and ability to create, accept and embrace higher more sustainable ways of living and being.

To go back to “normal”, the familiar, after the affects of this pandemic, is like staying in a burning building and wondering why I got burned or died. The evidence is clear and hitting us on many fronts. Going back to “normal” is not helpful, nor sustainable for humanity to survive or thrive.

The Serenity Prayer emphasizes the importance of acceptance, courage and discernment. It also captures the moment of choice—discerning the importance of accepting the reality of a situation as is, and the value to change what is ours to change. I’ve come to appreciate how this prayer weaves the attributes of Power, Love and Wisdom with the attributes of Acceptance, Courage and Discernment.

The Power and Serenity of Acceptance

The first part of the Serenity Prayer says: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” Our willingness and ability to accept the uncertainties, and even the tragic events in our life will, in the long run, provide us with greater inner power and the spiritual peace and strength to move forward. Our personal power, inner peace and self-worth can be compromised by unfortunate life situations.

Within your difficult or painful experience, how many of you have struggled with the perception and feeling of not having control or a say in the experience? This Coronavirus experience, may be for many, one of those uncontrollable and difficult experiences?

When we have a sense of no control or say in an experience, we can begin to feel alone and powerless. Our lower ego self will want to control what is not ours to control. Our ability to tap into the Divine wisdom within is blocked by the attitude of resistance and non-acceptance. We can forget the presence and power of God. Yet, God and our higher self are asking us in circumstances that don’t seem to make sense or seem unfair to accept the situation. It is normal for our ego mind to resist and ask, “Why?” We need to know. We want control. We need to make sense out of this.

The recent events and experiences we are encountering with the Coronavirus, offers us the opportunity to accept what we cannot change. For many, it could be the sudden death of a loved one, loss of a job and income, or the struggle with isolation and boredom, due to restrictions to many of our daily routines and pleasurable activities.

The answer to the Why’s of our life experiences, and most recently the Why’s of the Coronavirus, are mainly found through “acceptance” of the things we cannot change. Due to our limited perspective, we would benefit from realizing that some aspects of what we experience, and the “why” of it, may not be totally understood in a way that makes sense to us.

Resistance and non-acceptance of “what is”, will move us further from the answer, limiting our willingness to change what we can. Acceptance and trust in divine order are the answers to the question, “Why?” This is what makes acceptance so powerful. Acceptance generates a forward movement, overcoming resistance. The “why” doesn’t matter now because we accept the things we cannot change. We surrender to the power and knowing that is greater than ourselves, letting go of the need to control, the need for a concrete answer.

The act of acceptance is an act of love; it moves us, arousing the spirit within us. With acceptance, we let go of conditions and limits and can view our experience from the higher perspective. Acceptance opens our heart to compassion; it illuminates the path to serenity and empowerment. Acceptance comes from an open and willing heart. It’s a sign and act of spiritual maturity. Acceptance calls us to spiritual surrender and trust (to have faith) in a power, love and wisdom greater than ourselves.

The solution or way is to let go of upset and worry to just “be” with what life is at this moment. There are times in our life when we are powerless. It is best to acknowledge this, and with humbleness, surrender to the all-powerful God. Acceptance is a form of spiritual surrender. Which brings us into harmony with the all-loving and all-knowing Creator.

In times of accepting our powerlessness, we do have the power to change—from within. When I accept the things I cannot change, I then naturally change what I can—myself. In this, we empower our self; I change my perception and belief about “what is.” I change from the inside-out. This is the embodiment of true, authentic power—this brings peace to the heart and mind.

True power and strength manifest the soul’s desires to do the will of God; trusting and allowing oneself to be aligned with Source in order to co-create. True creative power is life force energy generating constructive results; using power to benefit our desires, through surrender, trust and acceptance. Acceptance is allowing; it’s an act of acknowledgement and demonstrates the willingness to take responsibility for oneself in positive, compassionate and forward-focused ways.

Love Fuels the Courage to Change

God is all loving, infinitely good. God’s love is the primary Divine Attribute. It calls us to the yearning and mystery of love.

The second part of the Serenity Prayer asks for “the courage to change what we can.” The only aspect of life we truly have the power to change is ourselves. It takes courage to change our perception, belief, attitude and behavior about our self within a situation and/or relationship. Love, acceptance and change starts from within. Courage is using our heart and higher mind to rise above our false and limiting beliefs in order to create a change in our life. It is through the energy of love that courage arises. To rise as love is to manifest the courage to change what we can. It’s an act of courage to say “yes” to life and more importantly to say “yes” to ourselves.

In the 12-step program, I am asked to admit that I am powerless to an addiction and then turn it over to God. With this acceptance, I then need to do the inner work of working the 12 steps. Embracing and working these steps is an example of the courage it takes to change what I can. I have connection with, and faith in my higher power and higher self; I love myself enough to do my part toward overcoming the powerlessness of addiction, or other unfortunate life situation.

Earlier in this blog, I mentioned about us asking the question “Why?” in our difficult times. I have found in my own journey the importance of, rather than asking, “Why?” or “Why me?”, asking instead “Why not me?” Asking this question takes courage and acceptance. It’s a profound path back to love and soul understanding. It opens us up to a deeper level of surrender and acceptance, creating an awareness for greater possibilities in the perception that moves us through the things we cannot change. Asking “Why not me?” opens us to more deeply explore, with curiosity and innocence, the soul contract; the lesson that was meant to be learned from the experience.

Courage is an important ally in transcending fear. It creates the willingness to be vulnerable when expressing love to ourselves and others. It invites us to step out of our comfort zone. By going beyond what we’ve known to be true about ourselves, we move to a higher state of consciousness to something better. Love creates the courage to move through this Coronavirus experience with more grace and ease. To trust, have faith, that the divine has our back to guide us through this difficult and uncertain experience.

Love fuels the courage to overcome addictions, to reconcile a broken relationship or to walk away, if need be. Love generates the courage to admit our mistakes, speak our truth and strive for self-improvement. Love also fuels the courage to be of service to others.

The Wisdom to Know

Analyzing others is knowledge
Knowing yourself is wisdom.
Managing others requires skill.
Mastering yourself takes inner strength.
Knowing when enough is enough,
Is wealth of spirit.
Be present, observe the process,
Stay present, observe the process,
Stay centered and prevail. —Tao, 33

Wisdom is grounded in truth and understanding and aligned with divine principles. It is allowing the wisdom of God, to flow in us. Wisdom is more than knowledge expressed with words—wisdom resides in the silence; it listens and holds a higher perception. Wisdom dwells in the soul-heart, and often arises in stillness, solitude and fasting, igniting the higher mind, where inner knowing, and truth can be discovered and lived. It’s the basis of the power of acceptance, and the courage to change.

Wisdom values compassion to self and others. Wisdom is part of the Divine Attributes and the third aspect of the Serenity Prayer, “and the wisdom to know the difference.” The Wisdom to know the difference is discernment. In the process of discernment, I come to understand what I cannot change and surrender to this, while generating the courage to change what I can. It’s the ability to discern from our higher-wiser perspective, what to release to the higher power and what to take responsibility for. Wisdom is acceptance and responsibility in action.

Discernment is the ability to recognize which perceptions, thoughts, beliefs and behaviors of past experiences no longer serve us, and the willingness to create new ones that do. This is the wisdom to know who we are and make empowering choices. When we are authentic, we elevate our thinking and gain clarity, which expands our possibilities and potential in life.

Wisdom connects us to the essence within us; our intuitive inner knowing. The Holy Spirit is the feminine aspect of God. Wisdom is the Holy Spirit, the Divine Mother, the heart knowing of God. The Holy Spirit offers the ability of self-mastery through our hearts knowing and right action. The Holy Spirit assists all souls with discernment and trust to move forward on the journey.

With wisdom, God invites us to dance with the power of acceptance, as love is manifested by the courage to change. When love and power unite, wisdom is born. Wisdom gives the higher meaning to love and power. Love promotes wisdom, which inspires the courage to take right action; wisdom offers the right use of power and love.

People who have power without love and wisdom become tyrants. Greed is power without love and wisdom. How we use power will be how we express love. How we use wisdom will determine how we use power and evolve as love.

Jimi Hendrix said it well: “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.“

Wisdom accepts “what is” and summons the courage of our inner warrior to engage in changing what truly is ours to change. The greater our strength and will are in alignment with the will of our Creator; wisdom will arise from within, expanding our soul evolution in human form. Let us say “Yes,” to God’s knowing and use of power, love and wisdom.

In Closing

This Coronavirus is offering us the experience of accepting what we cannot change. Changing what we can and knowing, living the difference.

Let’s say “Yes” to God and embrace the serenity when we accept our Creator’s ways with this Coronavirus experience or other life struggles and tragedies. Let us pursue the courage and strength to change what we can, especially our self, and the wisdom to know the difference. This is our birthright and the higher, more expanded way to walk the Earth—Rising as Love and Goodness.

David Schroeder, LMSW, CPC, from Grand Rapids, MI., is a licensed clinical and spiritual social worker, certified life transition coach, and author of Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. His practice, Transition Pathways helps people find healthy pathways to love, greater awareness and higher potential. Visit David’s website: transitionpathways.com David’s book, Just Be Love is available for purchase through the publisher: Global Summit House email: infoglobalsummithouse.com and Amazon.com. If you would like an autograph copy of his book, contact David by email: [email protected]

Love and Loneliness

The following is part of a chapter from my book, Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. Chapter title seems pertinent to our current time, with the unprecedented event of the Cornavirus. Parts of this chapter have been updated in this blog, to align with the current Cornavirus situation and its effects on social isolation—loneliness.

The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved. —Mother Teresa

There is a contributing factor to many illnesses today, and this factor is one you would likely overlook. It gets little attention, yet it is impacting our lives in very subtle, yet tragic ways. I believe a major contributing factor to illness is loneliness—social isolation. A disconnect with ourselves and each other creates quiet, yet dangerous traits of social divide and discontent. It appears that many people today avoid connecting with themselves, each other and their Source at a deeper level. The consequences are becoming more apparent and critical for not only ourselves but our planet as well.

In my own contemplation, I’ve concluded that the main reason for one’s feelings of loneliness is spiritual disconnect, the loss of faith and belief in a power greater than one’s self. This disconnection manifests itself in the unwillingness and/or distraction to connect with Source and others to co-create, to self-actualize and make the world a better place. This results in seeing the world and life with the perception of fear and separation. I believe spiritual disconnection and loneliness are also the result of being defined by the self-created story we tell ourselves and to others.

Loneliness and Our Well-Being

Spiritual disconnect also creates a lack of awareness and the willingness to explore and ultimately answer these fundamental spiritual questions: Who Am I? — Why am I here? When we feel no relationship with Source, these two questions seem to have little meaning. Without the recognition that we come from love and the infinite Source of the universe, we can neglect a meaningful sense of purpose or direction in life, and the awareness of the spirit within us; which is due to a low self-esteem. The sacredness of the person and their life purpose is unclaimed. There are numerous factors that contribute to a person’s spiritual disconnect and resulting loss of purpose and life direction.

On physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual levels we are designed to connect with each other. Relating is part of our essence as a human system. Research indicates that loneliness has become a social epidemic. It’s affecting our health and sense of well-being, leaving many to feel alone, deprived and powerless.

Researchers are finding that the stress linked to social isolation and low social support creates a host of damaging reactions within the body and weakens the immune system, making people more susceptible to disease. The loneliness factor creates a potential link to diseases such as depression, cancer and heart disease. Researchers say that being alone and feeling lonely increases your chances of an early death by nearly 30 percent. We know an infant can die from lack of physical and emotional contact. Having a face-to-face social support network is an important coping skill to combat life stressors, as well as providing a feeling of connection and belonging in the world.

Social Distancing — Stay-at-Home

As we are now faced with social distancing and stay-at-home orders. Thank goodness, we have the internet, iPhones and social media. These modern forms of communication are helping us stay connected in safe and effective ways, as we physically need to isolate to contain and control the virus. Imagine what our period of stay-at-home would be like for many of us, especially extroverts without the internet, social media and iPhones?

With social distancing, have you been walking more, with your partner and/or pet? As you walk, have you noticed yourself and other people are saying hi/hello and/or waving hi as we walk by each other? This acknowledgement of the others presence as you walk by each other is a wonderful way of connection and an expression, a way of letting the other person know they are of value and importance in the world… You matter, even if I don’t really know you too well. I see you! Saying hi, smiling waving as we pass each other. This gesture and acknowledgement of the other, has been missing in societies for several decades now. The return of hi and a wave, as simple a gesture as it is, is a major and significant way of connecting and creating a more loving and peace earth.

Driven to Distraction

Before the Cornavirus engulfed the world population. There had been a dynamic happening that contributes to loneliness— the explosion and abundance of technology—the way we connect, communicate and entertain ourselves.

Advances in technology, have in one sense been very helpful, but the more we’re driven to connect through computers and iPhones, we lose a sense of personal understanding, of our need for each other and for real, genuine human connection. These distractions have increasingly created superficial connections with each other and ultimately with the Divine.

Many of us have become obsessed with different media forms. We say we are only going to watch thirty minutes of TV or be on the Internet for fifteen minutes, and the next thing we know, two hours have passed. Research says, the average person today will look at their phone or laptop 150 times a day. This equates to spending four years of our life looking down.

Look Within, Up and Around

The perception and belief of separation is the core wound of humanity. The feelings and belief of not being enough leads to this perception of separation and spiritual disconnection. This also causes us to look down and shut out life around us. When we do so, we also shut out our awareness of and deeper connection with each other and our soul-full selves. We also close off our connection with our Creator. Reality is, we are never truly alone. The connection and communication with the Divine, the ascended masters, angels and our soul is always available.

Loneliness results from the increasing disconnect from our soul, from love, from Mother Earth and the wonders of the universe. To feel safe and secure in society today, especially at night, our cities and towns are lit up by streetlights and neon signs; most building are illuminated. Because of this, we are unable to get a clear view of the stars in the night sky and the moon. With our need for man-made lights, many of us have become oblivious to the mystery and beauty of the universal lights that we ride with on this galactic merry-go-round. We lose the communion and communication with the higher realms of the universe.

In looking up at a star-filled night sky, we can’t help but realize we are not alone. We are part of a great wondrous expansiveness, surrounded by love and grace. Look up and around and know that we are that star and that star is us.

More so now, due social distancing and stay-at-home, people are challenged and struggling with loneliness. Due to the loss of connection with Source, this virus is showing us our created expectations and need for instant gratification. These ego needs lead to a disappointed mind and a closed heart. The experience of the Cornavirus is also showing us how much we don’t love ourselves.

Can You Be Alone and Not Be Lonely?

The opportunity from this virus, is to be more accepting of ourselves and others. To remember the love and goodness we are. To reclaim self-love, and heal within. From this inner healing and self-love, we can love and accept others more freely, and are not so needy of others and life. This virus is helping us learn to freely Love to Love.

Our experience with this Cornavirus, is also offering us the opportunity to Learn to be alone, yet not be lonely.

This time is also an opportunity to look up and around. To notice the blue sky of day, the beauty of the rising sun, the majesty of a sunset, or the wonders of cloud formations. With awareness of the natural environment, we come to appreciate that we are a part of something vast, beautiful and sacred. We are that tree we see in the woods, and that tree is us. I am that individual on the other side of the globe, and he/she is me. We all come from the same creative Source of loving energy.

Looking within ourselves, we discover that loneliness cannot exist when we experience the oneness of ourselves in relation to all that is. This dynamic, this relationship, is always and, in all ways, interconnected and interdependent.

If, while in this physical body, we accept and embrace the deeper connection and eternal relationship with our soul and of all creation that surrounds us, we will naturally connect with our brothers and sisters in more open and loving ways. Our man-made distractions are diversions from the infinite love and connection available to us. These distractions and diversions can cause us to have a sad, lonely heart, and may lead us into states of anxiety and depression.

Closing Thoughts

Our distractions are superficial ways of finding meaning and purpose in our life. We can reduce these negative effects by being in balance. Be aware. Discipline yourself to strike a healthy balance between the use of technology, your interpersonal relationships and work commitments. Integral to maintaining this balance is the commitment to periods of quiet reflection and spiritual retreat, either alone, in groups or both. Look up at your neighbor, your world and the universe. All this offers us a sense of connection.

We are first and foremost spiritual beings. We are here to live by the universal laws and to live more from the heart; to connect with and learn from our feelings and emotions; to love and support ourselves, each other and our planet. We are designed to create soul-full communion and meaning in our lives. Our current times call us to a deeper more accepting connection with our self, our neighbors, our planet and our Creator. This is part of the awakening of the New Humanity and the New Earth.

Life and its experiences invite us to come together in love, acceptance and unity. Loneliness is the result of expectations, judgment, fear and exclusion. Connection is grounded in love, fearlessness, acceptance and inclusion.

May true connection, self-love and peace be yours, David

True Wealth

As the United States and the rest of the world, currently experiences the effects of the Coronavirus. One major area that is impacted is the world’s economies. I believe part of the reason and message of this virus upon humanity is to wake us up to the higher more divine understanding of money and what True Wealth means.

The Love of Money

Let’s look at James Carville’s famous quote back in 1992, during Bill Clinton’s presidential campaign. “It’s the economy stupid.” This quote is the mindset of many today, as it was in 1992. The quote underscores how much attention and energy of our life is defined by the economy, be it one country or the global economy. The importance of consumer spending, to buy or sell, in order to have. To buy or sell in order to be happy.

I ask: How is this mindset, focus and behavior really working for you? Are you really happy and content? With all your material possessions you currently have and the possessions you feel and/or wish you want. Does it seem like a never-ending thinking and behavior pattern, that only leads you to discontent?

I believe we’ve become oppressed with money, believing we never have enough, or I’ll never get my fair share of it. These ego driven beliefs, of need or lack, have created a moral erosion and spiritual disconnection, individually and collectively.

My reply to Mr. Carville and the world about what really matters is: It’s our spiritual essence, my friends.

A False God Called Consumption

The economy and all we have made of value and importance are not the true keeper of truth. They are not the source of true wealth and abundance.

To examine, the true spiritual masters and way showers over the centuries. They had very little, if any money or material possessions. Yet they gave much to the world, with their gifts and teachings of spiritual truths. Through their discipleship and mastery of spiritual truths they displayed the understandings of true wealth.

Over two thousand years ago, the spiritual master Yeshua/Jesus, walked the earth and offered this teaching: Be in this world, but not of this world. I take this to mean. Yes, a part of our soul energy and essence will live in this world for a speck of time and repeated times. But don’t be too attached or defined by this world. For it’s temporary, and not the dimension of truth. Let us not forget, nor lose connection with the dimensions from which you came and will return to. The formless spiritual realm of many dimensions and unlimited possibilities.

Yeshua in the Gospel of Thomas said: “For him who finds his true self the world of objects is of no worth.” Jesus also said through A Course In Miracles: “The world is only in the mind of its maker. Do not believe it is outside of yourself.”

On the human level, however, we do forget, thus we lose connection with our spiritual essence. Our task as souls, while in human form, is to remember what our ego self has forgotten, we are love and there is no need or lack. We have all that we need.

Our natural world through Mother Earth and all other forms of life that live here on Earth, show us how to be (live) in this world. For they know, they are not of this world. That’s why they don’t harm this world, they just flow in and with this world and with the Creator of all.

We Won’t Take It with Us

Reality is, all that our ego attaches too and defines itself by, to look good, feel safe and be comfortable in and with. Will not be needed when we pass on, true? Yet the masses, think, say and live as if… It’s all about money ̶ the economy. How sad, to realize how we have forgotten our spiritual essence and have sold our soul to the love and power of the grand illusion… money and an inflated need for material possessions.

In this current process of earth’s and humanities Ascension. I would not be surprised, if this unrepresented Coronavirus event, is one in a series of both man-made and natural disasters that may occur, especially over the next 2-5 years. These disasters, I believe are intended to shake us up so we will wake up. To more fully remember, thus create greater alignment with spiritual truths and ways of our Creator. To come home to the remembrance of love, peace, connection and truth wealth.

Albert Einstien said it well: “The world we have made, as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far, creates problems we cannot solve at the same level of thinking at which we created them.” Our current economy demands that we consume as a way of life. When the demand for consumption changes, which it suddenly and drastically has, the economy and society goes into a tailspin, panic and potential collapse.

I believe this Conravirus situation is showing the world and especially its leaders and those who thrive on greed and manipulation. How vulnerable we all are. Hence the systems we have created are no longer sustainable. We are being asked to develop more cooperative and equable systems, of governance, healthcare, finance, education, etc. This is part of the wake up call and the opportunity before us.

The Divine Way

I offer three divine, thus more humane ways to create an economy based on loving principals and how the natural world functions.

Use ecological approaches with reverence and compassion for sustaining and empowering life.
Takes only what is needed for sustenance.
Honor the governance of the Divine in the spirit of cooperation and interconnectedness in harmony with the rhythm of nature.

It’s up to all of us to realize and accept that we can no longer operate with the same type of thinking and behaviors that created this problem and its outcome. To imagine and create a world based on love, caring and sharing. Aligning with the web of life, where everyone does their part for sustenance of all. This is the new earth, and what truly creates true wealth.

Much Love & peace, David

David Schroeder, LMSW, CPC from Grand Rapids, MI., is a licensed clinical and spiritual social worker, certified life transition coach, and author of Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. His practice, Transition Pathways helps people find healthy pathways to love, greater awareness and higher potential. Visit David’s website: transitionpathways.com David’s book, Just Be Love is available for purchase through the publisher: Global Summit House email: infoglobalsummithouse.com and Amazon.com. If you would like an autograph copy of his book, contact David by email: [email protected]

The Strength of Hope in Uncertain Times

In these current uncertain times, hope can be seen and used as a source of strength, a way to stay positive amidst life’s stress and uncertainty.

Hope is an attitude and the willingness to be patient, flexible and steady. It’s found in our willingness to trust our Creator, ourselves and allow for the process of life to unfold. Hope is the courage to face the dark and the unknown, both inside and outside of ourselves. It is the persistence and determination to keep going despite uncertainty. Hope requires that we stay positive and optimistic through the uncertainty and adversity.

Hope thrives from the attitude of gratitude. Gratitude, is the willingness to focus on what’s good and going right in our life.

Our fear and self-doubt will diminish our sense of hope. Causing us to become passive, even stuck in wishful thinking or stinkin thinkin. Which makes us idle in taking positive actions to generate what’s hoped for.

Our Will Leads to the Way

You’ve heard the saying: “Where there’s a will, there is a way.” Hope develops for us to discover the will and seek a way. Think of hope as this formula: Willpower + Way power = Hope. The power and determination of Will, along with the courage and commitment to find a Way, can create a positive and productive result.

Active Waiting

Hope is about the future, so, it requires waiting. Consider a concept I call active waiting. While waiting for my hopes to manifest, I am active in my waiting. I am doing things in the present that I believe will lead to what I desire in the future.

Another noteworthy description of hope is: The push of discomfort and the pull of hope. This means that when we push (step) into, engage in our discomfort (darkness/pain), we acknowledge and accept it. Having the courage to work through the uncertainty and/or pain; trusting in time, from the experience, the pull (energy) of hope and light will be experienced once more.

In these current uncertain times. Keep hope alive, by seeing this current challenge; as the teacher and opportunity, not the threat or the enemy. Accept the reality of what is, while remaining open and to unlimited possibilities. Realize, creation and growth happens from the darkness.

Rainbows occur when dark clouds, the rain and the sun all happen at once. All is needed for the light and beauty of the rainbow to appear. This is the way of the divine. Realize, that light and clarity, always surrounds what appears dark and uncertain. Stay positive and confident that the struggle will pass. The clouds will move on, and the sun will shine again.

Trust that the higher knowing of our Creator has our back, regardless of the outcome. Be curious, open and willing to understand the lesson and opportunity offered from the experience, for our soul and human growth and evolution.

May peace, love, hope & light always be your guide, David

Coping with Fear and Grief in Uncertain Times

As the coronavirus continues to spread and have greater impact on every area of our life. The fear and anxiety of the virus may begin to turn to heighten uncertainty as to the future of our life as we’ve known it to be. For there are currently many unknowns with this virus. Medical and science expects speculate how long it may last, financial expects speculate the affects on both national and global economies, mental health experts advise on the mental and emotional affects the current and future changes can have on a person’s psyche and behavior.

Many of us struggle with change, especially a change we didn’t see coming, ask for or want. Instead of change, we resist, deny or avoid, or even blame others for the change. Change inherently creates uncertainty, a sense of loss of control, thus fear, anxiety anger, and in time depression.

We all are experiencing this unprecedented change and uncertainty. Our way of life has now changed, our sense of “normal” has changed. We are embarking now on unchartered territory, which often leads to a “new normal.” We are in the space between what has been and what will be. This is the space and place of fear, uncertainty, chaos and anxiety, perhaps even panic, leading to despair. Change equals stress, which often creates uncertainty. This all takes the mind places that often put us more in a state of helplessness & hopelessness.

Many of us now are experiencing change, grief and loss, and the stages that come with it.

Denial: Perhaps you have noticed in yourself or others, during these past several weeks: Being in this first stage or state of grief. The stage of denial: Hearing others say or you yourself, saying: “It’s not happening to me.” “This will blow over and will be fine when I wake up tomorrow.” So, I just go about my normal daily routine.

Anger: As life around me doesn’t seem so normal anymore and I realize within me, something has changed, but I don’t like it or want it. The next stage or state is to be angry. This is not fair or right, so I get defensive and reactive, for protection and survival. I resist the change and my fear and insecurities begin to show in the form of anger and/or defiance. I don’t want my life to change, but it has, and its your fault and you need to fix this and put things back to the way it was before, for my comfort is now uprooted, my safety and livelihood is threatened… I want My normal back and I want it back now, damn it!

Bargaining: As the days pass into weeks, we begin to realize our normal is now gone. I now turn to the part of me that begins to use the strategy of bargaining; for comfort, safety and sense of normal to return. If I do this, will you please do that. I’ll be good, I’ll change my ways, in this can you please let me go back to work or go on that vacation now, that I had to cancel. We begin to play let’s make a deal, with ourselves, with others and especially, with God, Creator, whatever name you give to that power greater than ourselves. We may even start to bargain with our dog or the walls in our room. Somebody, anybody to get us out of this difficult, disruptive or painful situation.

Depression: As I put all this energy and effort into getting my normal back, by the above three ego strategies and it doesn’t come to be. I begin to feel a sense of defeat and thus depression creeps in. I lose my sense of motivation, the voice and beliefs of our inner critic within us begins to give us messages of what a failure we are, how we deserve to be punished. We hear that loud obnoxious inner voice say things like: “See, I told you we don’t deserve happiness or good things.” “God and/or the world doesn’t love or care about us.” Our motivation and willingness to carry on begins to get depleted, we begin to give in and give up. We eat more or eat less, we just want to sleep it all away or we get very little sleep, because our mind is racing so much with worry and doom and gloom thoughts (what I call “stinking thinking”) that our energy and motivation level is defeated and drained.

Acceptance: Acceptance, like forgiveness, is one of the most difficult traits for us humans to come too. However, like forgiveness, it’s also one of the most powerful and liberating things we can do for ourselves. The first four stages of grief are more dis-empowering for us, because we are forcing life to be our way, rather than what it currently is. Resistance is based on ego, its fear and need for control. Our true power is not gained by force. True and authentic power and serenity, is gained through spiritual surrender, letting go and yielding to the power and wisdom greater than ourselves. What we Accept, and embrace-we Conquer and move forward from. What we resist will Persist. Acceptance is a sign of spiritual maturity. A sign of inner strength and knowing, trust–true faith, that the universe has our back.

Acceptance doesn’t mean we like or agree with what’s happened, it just means we choose to not let the situation define us or control our lives any more than need be. We choose to let go of “what was” so we can move on in life with “what is.” Expectations, needing things a certain (my) way, will create a disappointed mind and closed heart. Acceptance creates a free mind and open heart.

Acceptance transcends fear and denial, creating emotional and mental calm and inner peace. In addition, it widens one’s perception to see higher more constructive possibilities. Which helps us make healthier, more loving choices. Acceptance begins to transform fear, uncertainty and limits – to love, possibilities and freedom. With acceptance comes tolerance, resilience and confidence, to weather life’s difficulties and uncertainties.

There is an additional stage of grief that has been added to this common grief model.

Meaning: As we experience life in all its joyful and painful forms. We are forming beliefs and ultimately meanings to these experiences. These beliefs and the eventual meaning we put to life, is simply coming from the perspective and feeling of fear, thus pain or love, thus freedom.

It’s been said: Life is not meant to be easy; it’s meant to be meaningful. Acceptance leads us to the higher more loving and compassionate belief and meaning both toward ourselves, others and the experience. As we re-frame the meanings of our unfair or difficult experiences. Moving from the victim or fighter meaning of: “Why me”, “poor me”, “I hate myself” or “how could you do this to me, I hate you.” To the more loving and empowering meaning and mindset of “Why not me”, “what is this experience teaching me and asking me to do?” This re-framing and new meaning begin to help me see the experience from the higher-wiser, more loving perspective. I begin to realize and see that life experiences from my soul/higher view, are happening for me and through me, nothing really happens to me. Thus, I begin to move through the experience with more love, grace and ease. I see the lesson; the experience was offered to allow me to embrace traits and behaviors based on love. To make a more accepting, compassionate and forgiving choice for myself and/or others.

Our current experience with the coronavirus, is offering all of us, each in our own way, based on our individual and collective soul agreements, the opportunity to move through these stages of grief, with the intent of coming to a place of Acceptance and the higher-wiser, more loving meaning of our selves and how we live on earth. Be gentle with yourself and each other as you/we move through this time of uncertainty, yet tremendous opportunity to transform ourselves to be more loving, accepting and compassionate beings that walk upon the earth in harmony and grace with all that is.

I close with two more of my quotes. The level of uncertainty you can tolerate, will determine the quality of your life. Life like love, is just a word, until you give it a meaning. Be aware of the meaning you are putting to this current life altering experience. A new normal creates a shift individually and/or collectively, i.e. the whole of a society or in this current case a global shift, a shift in behaviors and lifestyle habits and a shift in economics.

Ask yourself, is the meaning and my behaviors (actions/reactions) I put to these current changes, coming from Love or Fear? Acceptance or Resistance? The choice is yours, for this is the planet of free will. One choice will help you move through this time of great change with grace, resilience and growth, the other choice will cause you more struggle and inner pain. We all are making the choice; such is the dynamic of change and human evolution of struggle and progress.

Here’s a Sufi quote which seems to fit for our current times. I’m adding a word to it. “When the heart (ego) weeps for what it has lost, the spirit rejoices for what it has found.” From chaos comes order, this is the nature of life. Breathe, stay present, connected and be well, David

Living From Love or Fear

There are two main human emotions, love and fear. All other emotions we experienced come from the root of either fear or love.

The Creation of Fear

The emotion of fear is a learned emotion of the ego-mind, designed for protection and survival. Fear is created through the mind-body to protect the body from a perceived physical and/or emotional threat or danger. Our fears are mostly based on our experienced past and perceived future events.

From the divine and our higher self’s perspectives, fear is an illusion that our human self makes very real. So real it often stops us in our tracks, hindering, if not paralyzing our physical and mental ability to move forward through life situations. Fear distorts and erodes our trust and faith, causing us to create limiting beliefs, that hold us back – limits our potential.

A common acronym for fear is:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Fear keeps us stuck in what we don’t want, reinforcing our sense of separation and unworthiness. So, we end up feeling, believing and behaving as if we are trapped in problems. Consumed by fear, puts us in victim thinking and energy with the solution to the problem being, to stay focused on the problem.

Coming From Love

Love on the other hand, is of the spirit and our essence. Love embraces life struggles and challenges from a higher-wiser perspective, which offers wisdom for higher learning and growth. Love is not based on a threat, so there is no need for protection. So, we thrive with the emotion and energy of love.

When we bring love to a perceived fearful situation, we turn the fear into a motivator to move us in a positive and productive direction. The key is for us to question and challenge the perception, thoughts and belief that is generating the fearful emotion. Searching for the clues that are creating the fear and asking: What is this fear based upon? Fear is often based on a past experience, that I’m bringing into my present. Or fear can arise when we perceive, thus project and believe an unpleasant outcome will result with a future event.

Recognizing and understanding what our fear is based on and why; is critical toward overcoming its paralyzing objective.

Another acronym and way to look at fear:
Feeling
Excited
And
Ready

Based the two acronyms I offered you on fear, the first one will, limit and drain us, because we are living in the false self and the illusion. This second acronym will offer possibilities and opportunities and will sustain us, because it comes from the higher perspective and brings love to the fear.

Recognizing, understanding and challenging the bases of the fear is an act of love and offers an opportunity to than reconcile, re-frame and transform the fear to love in the present.

In Closing

My quote, echo’s the importance and healthiness of challenging our fear with love and acceptance. For what we accept and embrace we conquer and move forward from.

Are you overwhelmed with fear or worry? Help is just a phone call or email away. Please contact David Schroeder if you would like assistance with your fears. David offers life transition and spiritual growth counseling and coaching in-person, by phone or Skype. Visit his website at transitionpathways.com. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength, a healthy and assertive way to help yourself and move through life transitions.

David Schroeder, LMSW, CPC from Grand Rapids, MI., is a licensed and spiritual social worker, certified life transition coach, and author of Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. His practice, Transition Pathways helps people find healthy pathways to love, greater awareness and higher potential. David’s book, Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey is available for purchase through the publisher: Global Summit House email: infoglobalsummithouse.com and Amazon.com. If you would like an autograph copy of his book, contact David by email: [email protected]

Be a STAR

To be a STAR, one agrees to:

Surrender – your will to divine will – In order to gain/benefit.

Trust – that the universe and your higher self has your back.

Allow – yourself to flow with the universe. Flow like a water.

Receive – When you live the above 3 steps, you receive what’s in your highest and greatest good.

Have appreciation and gratitude for what’s received, for this allows your STAR to shine brighter and your soul to grow while in human form. Just Be Love – David

The Struggle With Loneliness

Many of us seem to struggle with loneliness. But why? In my book, Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. There is a chapter on Love and Loneliness. I mention there’s a contributing factor to many illnesses today, and this factor is one you would likely overlook.

It gets little society attention, yet research is showing it’s impacting our lives in subtle and tragic ways. I believe the number one illness today is: Loneliness – Social Isolation.

A disconnect with ourselves and each other creates quiet, yet dangerous traits of social divide and discontent.

For many people today, there appears to be a greater strain and avoidance to connect with ourselves, each other, and with our Source (divine). The consequences of this disconnect for us and our planet’s well-being is becoming more apparent and more critical with each passing day.

Studies are now showing, the loneliness factor is a link to many major illnesses and disorders, such as: high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, depression, etc.

In addition, loneliness contributes to many forms of addictions, like: drugs, alcohol, gambling, obsessive internet use and internet porn. Even crime and violent behavior toward others and/or self like: mass shootings or suicide have a connection to loneliness.

Lonely in Relationship

The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.—Mother Teresa

Many people in relationship or friendships often speak of being lonely. Not cared about, not understood and/or appreciated for who they are, and what they offer to the relationship.

Two Relationship Fears

There are two common relationship fears:
1. The fear of being Alone.
2. Fear of being Smothered.

Most people with stay in a unhealthy relationship due to fear of being alone. However, people will likely leave a relationship or friendship sooner, if they feel they are being smothered in it.

Fear keeps us stuck in what we don’t want and is unhealthy for us.

Fear of loneliness often keeps people in loveless and unhealthy relationships. People stay in what they believe is familiar, for this is perceived as safe and secure. However, it’s really a false sense of security. Staying in what’s familiar, yet unloving, unhealthy, perhaps even dangerous; will in time weaken our immune system. Thus, making us more susceptible to physical and/or emotional struggles and dis-ease.

The Avoidance of Self

Many people go into relationship as a way to avoid themselves. I don’t love or value myself, so I make the person I’m in relationship with, responsible for my happiness. They are in my life to full my own inner void of discontent.

To make others responsible for my own happiness, is a setup for disappointment, conflict and much discord in the relationship.

If we don’t first and foremost love ourselves and have a degree of inner happiness, we will consciously and especially unconsciously, create expectations and conditions as to how the other person is to love and be in relationship with us.

There is a paradox when it comes to the concept of relationship and loneliness.
The reality is, all relationships end, ultimately in the physical sense, with death. So at some point we will be alone in the loss of a relationship. It is through being alone, however, that we have the opportunity to learn to have a loving, accepting and compassionate relationship with ourselves.

When you can be alone and not be lonely. You will have learned self-love and inner contentment.

For when we are loving and accepting with ourselves, we have filled our inner void. We are comfortable with ourselves. So we are not needy or dependent on others for our happiness and contentment. We then will freely extend this love and acceptance to others. This is the hallmark of a quality and healthy relationship.

We can be happy in a relationship, but the person we are in relationship with; is not to be made responsible for our own happiness. That’s our own inside job.

My Own Contemplation

In my 25 plus years in the human service and development fields. I’ve concluded that the main reason for one’s feelings of loneliness is spiritual disconnect, i.e. a loss of faith and connection in a power greater than one self.

This disconnection manifests itself in the unwillingness and/or avoidance to connect with Source. This in turn, creates a loss of faith and belief in oneself. This disconnect with self and a higher power, will than manifest into the disconnect of meaningful and healthy connection with others.

This disconnect, results in seeing the world and one’s life through the lens of fear, separation, neediness and unworthiness.

I believe spiritual disconnection and the loneliness that comes from it, are the result of being defined by our ego’s self-created negative story, which we repeat to ourselves and others.

Spiritual disconnect also creates a lack of awareness and the openness to explore and ultimately answer the fundamental spiritual questions: Who Am I? Why am I here? What’s my purpose?

When we feel no relationship with Source, these questions seem to have little meaning and merit to explore and answer. Without the recognition that we come from love and the infinite Source of the universe, we can neglect a meaningful sense connection, sense of purpose or direction in life.

We have a void in the awareness and appreciation of the spirit within us; which creates low self-esteem (the perception and belief of separation, the loss of the spirit within).

The Illusion of Separation

The perception and belief of separation is the main driver of our ego, its a created illusion, we can make very real. Separation and loneliness doesn’t exist. The reality is, we are included and surrounded by an infinite universe and all that makes it be. We are the universe and the universe is us.

Just because someone in your life, rejected you, abandoned you, betrayed you, etc. doesn’t mean the entire world or universe did the same. Our ego and shadow aspects tends to project an ‘all or nothing”, “I feel it, therefore I believe it” belief system, that creates a “must be true” way of being and living.

We are called within our wounds and belief of separation to acknowledge, we have forgotten the truth of our essence. We are called to open our eyes and heart more fully to see and embrace the higher truth.

We are included, we do matter… We are Love, innocence and goodness. This is our remembering.

Loneliness and Our Well-Being

On physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual levels we are designed to connect with each other, our world and universe. Relating is part of our essence as a human energy system.

Research, indicates that loneliness has become a social epidemic. It’s affecting our health and sense of well-being, leaving many to feel alone, deprived and powerless.

Driven to Distraction

There is another dynamic happening that contributes to loneliness―the explosion and abundance of technology―the way we connect, communicate and entertain ourselves. Advances in technology, have in one sense been very helpful, but the more we’re driven to connect through computers and iPhones, we lose a sense of personal understanding, of our need for each other and for real, genuine human connection. These distractions have increasingly created superficial connections with each other.

Recent studies tell us that our iPhones, computers and video games are subtle yet dangerous obsessions, leading to addictions for both adults and youth. Studies show that when people’s iPhone or computers are taken away for three or four days, many of the subjects had withdrawal symptoms similar to someone who has a gambling or drug addiction.

Without the use of the phone or Internet, the subjects became anxious, easily agitated and depressed. Many people obsessed with cell phone or Internet use are doing so to escape loneliness and boredom. Yet, it’s making them more isolated and unhappy.

Distraction seems to be a common and acceptable norm today. Have you noticed yourself or seen others sitting next to each other, and their conversing by texting each other. Or one person is talking trying to converse with the person next to them; while the other person is on their phone texting or looking at their email, not paying attention to person they are physically next to?

Research shows the average person looks down at their phone 150 times per day, this amounts to nearly 4 years of their life. That’s just your phone, if you included looking at your laptop iPod, TV, etc. How many more months or years are added to looking down?

Our man-made distractions are diversions from the infinite love and connection available to us. These distractions and diversions can cause us to have a sad, lonely heart, and may lead us into states of anxiety and depression. Our distractions are superficial ways of finding meaning and purpose in our life.

Create Balance

To reduce the negative effects of these distractions, and enhance quality human connection, the value of balance becomes apparent.

To create balance we need a sense of connection and support. We are first and foremost spiritual beings. So we must create time and opportunity for genuine connection.

Here are some helpful tips for creating this balance and meaningful connection:

Be aware. Discipline yourself to strike a healthy balance between the use of technology, your interpersonal relationships and work commitments.
Commit to more face to face time/interaction rather than just Face time through social media use.
Integral to maintaining this balance is commitment to periods of quiet reflection and spiritual retreat, either alone, in groups or both.
Take walks or other mind, body, spirit practices, i.e. meditation, yoga, gardening.
Look up and reach out to your neighbor, your world and the universe.
Get to know your neighbor and be a good/helpful neighbor.
Join or start a meetup group, volunteer, throw a party.
Live more from your heart-center. Practice gratitude and be of service.
Connect with your feelings and emotions and learn from them.
Love and support yourself, others and our planet. As spiritual beings, we are designed to create soul-full communion and meaning in our lives.

In Closing

Our current times of stress, uncertainty and extremes call us to a deeper more accepting and compassionate connection with our self, our neighbors, our planet and our Creator.

We are called to create healthier balance between use of technology and true social connection. Life and its experiences invite us to come together in love, acceptance and unity.

Loneliness is the result of distractions, judgment, fear and exclusion.
Connection, however, is grounded in love, attention, acceptance and inclusion.

The universe exists through inner connectedness and community. We yearn to experience a deeper connection and intimacy with Source, ourselves and others—it’s where we come from—our human nature within our divine nature.

So out of love, reach out and connect – touch someone. This promotes a happy, healthy life and friendly planet. Namaste

Are you struggling loneliness and self-love? Are you struggling with grief from lost of a loving relationship? Help is just a phone call or email away. Please contact David Schroeder if you would like assistance with your acceptance and change issues and how to work through them. David offers life transition and spiritual growth counseling and coaching in-person, by phone or Skype. Visit his website at transitionpathways.com. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength, a healthy and assertive way to help yourself and move through life transitions.

David Schroeder, LMSW, CPC from Grand Rapids, MI., is a licensed and spiritual social worker, certified life transition coach, and author of Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. His practice, Transition Pathways helps people find healthy pathways to love, greater awareness and higher potential. David’s book, Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journeyis available for purchase through the publisher: Global Summit House email: infoglobalsummithouse.com and Amazon.com. If you would like an autograph copy of his book, contact David by email: [email protected]

References:

Brigham Young University. Medical Research: Strong Relationships with Friends/Family Decreases Risk of Death. www.pr.com/press-release/251477. 2010.
Holmes, Leonard. Loneliness Impairs the Immune System. www.mentalhealth.about.com/od/research/a/lonely/flu.htm. 2005.