4 Reasons The Term “Soulmate” Is Misunderstood

In a previous blog entitled: “The Higher Meaning of the Term Soulmate.” I wrote of the true meaning of soulmate being: The reunion of your lower wounded ego self with your higher, wiser soul self. Thus you mate with your own soul. In this reunion, you can than attack the soul outside of you that is in soul agreement to be your suitable and complementary mate.

Here’s the fundamental problem people would have with this soulmate concept. Many people are unaware or misinformed about their soul. Some would even deny the existence of a “soul.” So if one denies the existence of their soul, and/or hasn’t take the time and effort to explore their soul. It would make sense why some people have trouble with my definition of soulmate.

Many societies and religions around the world, don’t advocate soul exploration and learning, let alone the idea of soul contracts and growth. When was the last time you heard on CNN, FOX news or Peoples Court, talk of the soul? The soul is not a mainstream topic with social media, in education, healthcare, religion, or people’s general conversation.

So Let’s Talk First About the Soul

I believe, the soul is pure energy, of a higher vibration than the physical body. The soul is the energy and essence of us. For the physical body could not exist without the soul. The soul enters the body at a point of conception and more fully is engaged with the fetus when its heart begins to beat. There is life. When the soul decides to permanently leave the body, this is what’s called physical death.

The soul is simply the formless energetic part of us, which resides in the physical body, some call it the higher self. While there is an aspect of your soul in the physical body, other aspects of your soul energy exist in other higher realms/dimensions in the cosmos.

The soul is the eternal aspect of you. While the physical body is the temporary aspect of you. You are an eternal soul housed in a temporary shell, called a body. Given my view of the soul and its aspects. Here are 4 reasons why the soulmate concept is misunderstood.

1. I Can’t See my Soul. Therefore, it must Not Exist:
Many people believe that if they can’t see, hear, feel, touch or taste something, it must not exist. The soul, being formless energy, would understandably be difficult to detect through any of our 5 senses. Consider the scientific fact, that 96% of what makes up the universe is invisible to human senses.

When we dream, I believe, we are connecting with the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind can be seen and known as one’s higher mind or higher self, so it’s an aspect of our soul working through the mind. When we dream, have a stroke of insight, use our intuition or experience synchronicity, that’s the higher mind. These are examples of the energy and ways our soul is communicating with us.

Many of us dream about a soulmate, we create an image or vision of him/her. I can see my soulmate in my mind’s eye or out there in a photo on a dating site. In these ways we than make the soulmate real. Yet, when we do the same with the communication from our own soul regarding a variety of other life experiences, we tend to deny this is coming from our soul. Does this sound true to you?

2. The Subject of “Soul” is not a Mainstream Topic:
However, the idea of finding “my soulmate” is a mainstream topic and subject of many people’s desire. It’s an unfortunate truth. How in our human ways we have once again gone astray with a spiritual concept. Turning the soul into everything, but what it truly is. Bottom line, there is very little interest, discussion or exploration on the subject of the eternal energy of the soul, what its purpose is, and its value to us in our earthly body and experiences.

3. Most Humans are More Focused on the Temporary:
As humans with an ego, many of us tend to be more distracted and focused on what is temporary, and what we have defined ourselves by. Our job, our car, our outward appearance, our finances, etc. We think these things make up the reality of who we are. However, none of these things will matter when we pass on. So why allow yourself to be so attached and defined by the temporary, at the neglect of your soul‒the eternal you?

4. The Common Belief is:
Others are responsible for your happiness and growth. We believe and say, “When I find my soulmate, I will be happy.” This is a common human assumption and painful error. From the soul perspective, it understands and agrees: “The other,” as a soul, offers your soul/you, the experiences needed for soul learning and growth. The other is not your “enemy or threat.” Rather they are your “opportunity and teacher.” And you are the others opportunity and teacher as well.

Yes, you can be happy in a relationship. However, neither of you are responsible for the others happiness. Happiness is an inside job. This is a major soul issue and lesson that people painfully keep repeating, by way of the “experience of relationship”, until the person “realizes this truth.” Make sense?  To your soul it makes sense. To our humanness with an ego, not so much.

In Closing:

When you connect more with the soul essence of you, you create the opportunity to understand your life experiences and the relationships within these experiences from a higher and wiser perspective. You will see more clearly what the person in the experience was offering/teaching you, and why you made the choices you did. It is important to focus on the eternal, the soul, its purpose/reason for being in this lifetime.

Important to realize, there is often a higher and deeper meaning to our experiences, than the one we organically come up with.

Ask and explore these soul growth questions:  

  • What am I here to experience in this lifetime?
  • What are people, places and my experiences showing and teaching me?
  • What does it all mean for me?
  • What is my negative core belief about myself around these experiences?
  • Are these core self-beliefs and choices acts of self-love or self-doubt?
  • Are my self created beliefs and choices coming from fear or Love?
  • Are these self-beliefs and choices empowering me (creating self-confidence and happiness) or defeating me (creating inner discontent)?
  • What is a higher more loving self-belief I can create for myself?
  • How would this new belief impact the choices I make?

 

The fundamental ways to mate or unite with your own soul.  Is by answering the above soul growth questions, and doing the inner soul work, which includes:

  • Reconciling the wounds from your past, and release the false self-beliefs your lower ego self created from these experiences. Allowing yourself than to reframe these experiences and yourself toward the higher soul perspective.
  • Learning to love yourself again, by letting go of regrets, and judgment of self and others. It’s about remembering and returning to the love, innocence and goodness your soul knows you to be.

In doing soul work, you create the opportunity, to be more self-confident, happier, more loving, accepting and compassionate to yourself. This is to grow and evolve. Which than helps you attract other evolved souls into your life. Creating healthier, harmonious and balanced relationships.

I welcome your comments.

Are you curious and seeking more information or guidance with your personal or spiritual journey? A gentle and helpful resource, is just a phone call or email away.

David Schroeder, LMSW, CPC from Grand Rapids, MI., is a licensed and spiritual social worker, certified life transition coach, and author of Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. His practice, Transition Pathways helps people find healthy pathways to love, greater awareness and higher potential. David’s book, Just Be Love is available through his website: transitionpathways.com or through online bookstores: amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to you and yours! Let us make Love and Kindness the reality in 2017. Its time!  Are you with me?

 

Living Life as a STAR

As I wrote in my book, Just Be Love, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of being a STAR. It’s not about the star in the sky or being a movie or sports star. It’s about being a personal star in the game of life. Being more in our higher mind and heart-centered, rather than our in our ego and intellect state. The acronym for star in this case is to:  
  Surrender
  Trust
  Allow
  Receive                                                                                                     

Surrender: The STAR’s meaning of surrender, is not about giving in or giving up. It is not about focusing on what we believe we may lose; which is the human ego’s version of surrender. The spirits view of surrender is to let go of our human will and way, to the divine will and way. Spiritual surrender is the willingness to yield to the greater power and knowing, with the intention of gaining or benefiting for our highest good.

surrenderOne of the most difficult things for the human ego to understand and do, is to surrender its will to the divine will. Human nature is such that we tend to focus more on what we believe we will lose. We struggle to focus on the benefits of change and its call of surrender, so we become fearful and anxious, leading us to be protective, resistant and reactive. We want the status quo and to stay in our comfort zone. This is a primary reason why human’s struggle so with change and growth. There is no higher awareness and growth in the comfort zone and status quo. Change and transformation is a dynamic process, not a stagnant pond. Many of our life experiences call us to spiritual surrender-to accept the things we cannot understand from our human perspective. To surrender is to trust.


Trust
: Is openness and willingness, a sense of faith and hope in divine will and way. It is to believe in the divine’s loving guidance and grace. Faith is trust in the unknown and unseen, the things we desire, but are yet to be in physical form. Faith is a sense of hope, and hope is about the future, thus waiting. Our sense of trust and faith are tested in times of unknown and uncertainty. Trust is accepting that the divine universe always has our back and highest good in mind. Trust is the foundation of relationship building, and requires us to be vulnerable. With trust we can allow.

Allow: Is to accept and let life unfold within us and for us. It says ‘Yes” to love, life and the higher wiser self. To allow is to stand as a mountain, yet flow like water. Both the mountain and the water surrender, trust and allow, through strength, courage and flow. To allow is to be free of judgment and expectations, with no need for control or power-over. To allow is to receive.

Receive: Is to open ourselves to the gifts and wonders of the universe. Can you allow yourself to receive what the divine and your soul desires for you?  Many of ththe difficult and painful life experiences we have, are intended for us to receive unconditional love, acceptance and freedom, as we move through the struggle and pain. To receive requires us to feel worthy and deserving of the gift. We receive through the people, places and experiences that makes up our life. From the higher soul perspective, our life experiences offer us opportunities to be a STAR. To: Surrender, Trust and Allow, is to open our inner pathway to Receive divine love, goodness and truth.

A Higher Meaning of the Term Soulmate

soulmate-image

In popular culture, dating sites, and various relationship writings, there is a common phrase used, called: Find your soulmate.  Like many words or phrases there can be a variety meanings or interpretations of what soulmate means. However, in order to truly understand the meaning of soulmate, you must be open and willing to think out of the box. But first let’s look at some definitions of soulmate from the dictionary.  “A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.”  “A person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament.”  “A person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs.”  “A person/s who is compatible with one other in disposition, point of view or sensitivity.” Each of these definitions speaks to being compatible with another person, but not with the one we live with 24/7, which is our self.

Many of us have the belief we aren’t lovable or enough or that we are incomplete, flawed, not whole. We struggle with finding meaning and inner happiness and peace. Our belief and sense of separation from that power greater than ourselves, along with feeling separate from other souls playing the art of human beings like us, takes us on the search for love and worthiness outside of ourselves. All this creates the illusion that I need someone or something to complete me, than I will be happy and content.  It creates barriers to attracting the partner or friend that can dance with us in life.

Society, through dating sites or pop culture articles, says this is how you find that person who can complete you. Ultimately, they do a dis-service to the readers and customers. They sell you on the idea and illusion that you are incomplete, and so the only way to completeness and happiness is by finding Mr. or Ms. Right, i.e. a person outside of yourself.  This thinking and believing is the main reason we struggle so much in relationship.  Your completeness and happiness will never be found outside of yourself.

c1e26f65a1658df0b4c9f629fff8ee06What would you say, if I told you, you are already complete; you are already whole, good enough, and especially loved. See I told you that you would need to think and believe out of the box. You come from a source that is greater than you and this source is love and complete. Since you are a creation from this source you are already love, goodness and complete. You have likely just forgotten this, because that’s part of what aspects of a soul chooses to do, forget, in order to take on their life experiences. What I call “Spiritual Amnesia.”  Our path back to remembering is an inside job, others assist us along the path, but we alone choose to remember ourselves as love and goodness or not.

Having said this, on the spiritual level, it my understanding the term soulmate means: The reunion with the lower (ego) self to the higher divine self. Than with this inner marriage/union, we unite back to the holy one (God or whatever name fits for you), the creator of all. To find your soulmate, is to connect with and reconcile your ego, wounded, and shadow self. Doing this you will connect more fully with your true and divine self. You unite back with your soul. You become more curious, conscious, and engaging with yourself and life, this creates intimacy within you. You begin to have a deeper more fulfilling connection and relationship with your soulful self, i.e. the essence of you. You mate with your soul; hence you found your soulmate.

By way of this inner union and reunion with the holy one, you can then more fully attract a soul or souls outside of you to dance in healthy and constructive partnership or friendship with you.