4 Steps to Changing your Attention and Focus

There is a universal law called the Law of Attraction, which simply says: What you think about, you bring about. In other words what we think about is where our attention and focus will be, this creates a form of energy; thus our experience in that moment. 

In today’s world there is much discontent. Many people are struggling with holding a loving, unconditional and peaceful focus and attention, due to much frustration, resentment and anger, with their personal/family relationships, workplace, government, etc. 

Many people want others to change to their own way of thinking and being. So our attention and focus is on those outside of us. Believing if others change – conform to our liking; this will make me feel safe, loved and happy.   

This way of thinking and being creates a dependence on others for our circumstances and happiness. Making others responsible for our lives, we are either in victim (poor me/I hate myself) energy or fighter/conflict energy (I hate you).

With both of these energies and mind-sets our attention and focus is more in a dis-empowering and negative direction, i.e.in the long run, these ways of thinking, believing and behaving, will create more negative destructive experiences and outcomes, than constructive and positive experiences.

Where your thoughts and attention goes, is where your energy will flow toward. This will be your created experience. 

Much of our degree of happiness, level of consciousness and success in life; has to do with our ability to focus and be attentive to the things that truly matter.

Ask yourself: What would truly contribute toward the growth and life enhancement of myself and others? Your answer to this question, is where your attention and focus is going. Creating the degree of happiness and inner peace you are experiencing.

This quote by the Spanish philosopher, Jose Ortega y Gasset speaks volumes to the power and influence attention and focus has in our life. “Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are.”

Attention is your focus, so like I said with the law of attraction, where your attention goes is who you believe yourself to be, and thus what you will attract in your life.

If you are unhappy and unfulfilled with your experiences and their outcomes, keep reading I offer you these 4 steps to improve attention and focus:

1. Gain awareness of what your attention is focused on. This will begin to show you why you are experiencing the things and circumstances you are. This will also lead you to your core self-belief about yourself, and how you may be unconsciously reinforcing – feeding your core negative belief through your attention and behaviors. This awareness offers you clarity, to what needs to change within you.

2. With this awareness and clarity, change your attention and focus to what you truly desire. If your attention is more on what you don’t want, than you will create what you don’t want, because this is what you are communicating and thus broadcasting to yourself and the universe. The universe will always provide the experience you consciously, and especially unconsciously broadcast ‒ ask for.

3. Be clear and specific with what you pay attention to.
Be mindful, that a part of you wants to take your attention to the negative and self-defeating. This is the fearful and undeserving part of you, wanting to get the best of you and keep you in what you don’t want or deserve.

Become conscious of this defeating aspect of you. Gently counter this with self-love, worthiness and value. With this, shift your focus and attention, back to the good and wholesome things you desire in life.

4. Visualize yourself having these positive and worthy desires.
Like a GPS, despite the wrong turns and barriers that get in the way, the GPS, never loses focus or sight on the destination that it’s programmed to go to. Your heart, as much as your mind is your internal GPS, so allow it to keep your attention, focus and process on what you desire and truly deserve.

With positive attention and focus on what you desire you create awareness and clarity of your process ‒ the steps toward this desire. You create a “Can Do Belief” and mind-set. What you focus on becomes your belief.  What you believe – is what you can achieve. You create the energy, actions and motivation to achieve.

The power of a “Can Do” belief sets the mind and body toward that belief. This offers you the inspiration, focus, discipline, and the determination to achieve.

 

What are your thoughts on this article?  Please leave a comment.

Do you struggle with attention and staying focused on your goals? David Schroeder, can help you reclaim the love and goodness you are. If you would like assistance with learning to stay true to your desire and achieving them, David is here to assist you with his life transition coaching and counseling sessions. He offers in-person, by phone or Skype sessions. Visit his website at transitionpathways.com.  Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength, a healthy and assertive way to help yourself and love yourself again.

David Schroeder, LMSW, CPC from Grand Rapids, MI., is a licensed social worker, certified life coach, and author of Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. His practice, Transition Pathways helps people find healthy pathways to love, greater awareness and higher potential. David’s book, Just Be Love is available through my websites: transitionpathways.com or JustBeLove  Also available through online bookstores: amazon.com , barnesandnoble.com

 

Navigating Change and Transition: From Struggle to Opportunity

As a therapist and life transition coach, most people seek my services, because they are experiencing a life change and are struggling with the transition of this change. An aspect of love is the willingness and ability to move through the transition change creates.

Change comes in a variety of ways. Such as: getting married, birth of a child, a death of a loved one, a partner’s affair, a divorce, job loss or transfer, or a grown child going to college. Some transitions can seem positive on one hand, yet create change and adjustment from our norm. So you may struggle for a time, adapting to “what is” now.

There is a difference between change and transition in the following ways.    

  • Change happens first and transition occurs due to the change.
  • Change can be seen as a shift from a norm, transition is the process of moving from one norm/way of being to another. Transition is the adjustment and adaptations we make from the change.
  • Change is usually an external experience, where transition is more of an internal process.
  • Change is often more sudden, more visible and tangible. Transition is a slower process, less visible, more intangible.

Change for people can be difficult to accept and move through, both physically and especially emotionally. It’s natural to want the situation and/or person back to how it was (old way).  Many people need certainty and to know the outcome, within what has now changed (new way).

The resistance to change, the need for certainty and the need to know, in the mist of the unknown, are often what causes many people to struggle with change. The need for certainty and control, leads to fear and resistance; creating racing thoughts, and self-created perceptions of negative outcomes.

This will lead to distributive sleep pattern, drained energy, and little motivation to move forward. The end result can be depression and/or anxiety. We become stuck in the mud of a self-defeated mindset. The process of transition has now become more difficult and overwhelming.

For a time, some of this is all normal and part of our process transitioning through change.  It’s important, however, not to get stuck emotionally and physically for too long.

The longer we chose to stay in the emotional and physical fear, avoidance and resistance, the more unhealthy and unproductive power and control we give to the resistance and uncertainty of transition; this does little to change our perception, process and reality to the change.

Human nature is such that when things change, we tend to focuses more on what we believe we will lose or need to give up. Healthy transition through change, one should focus more on what will be the benefits and gains of this process.

These two key Steps begin the process of transition through change: Moving you from struggle to opportunity.

  1. Accept the things I cannot change: This is the first part of the Serenity Prayer from Alcohol Anonymous aa.org. This prayer or principle I believe, applies to all of us when we experience a change in life. There are many experiences in your life you cannot change, and you may feel and believe you are powerless and helpless because of this. You feel like choices/options have been taken away.

    The second part of the prayer says: The courage to change the things I can. The reality is, in life situations, the only thing you can really change is yourself. You change, by changing your perception, thoughts, belief and attitude. It takes acceptance, courage and willingness to change from within.

    The good news and opportunity of this is ‒ there is much inner power and transformation that takes place with the act of acceptance. Acceptance is extremely difficult for many people, yet its incredibility liberating when you allow it to happen within you. Acceptance helps you to focus on the benefits of transition through change, not what you believe will need to be given up or lost in the process.

    To have the willingness and ability to accept what you cannot change, and change what you can; is the fundamental way to begin to change, and reclaim your inner power and determination to move forward. Acceptance is an act of self-love, and a moving forward energy. It acknowledges and accepts “what is.”

    The process of acceptance, doesn’t mean you like what’s changed, rather you recognize that resisting the change only creates more struggle and pain. With acceptance you create an opening to begin to change from within, with regard to what’s change in your life.

    This process helps you begin to gain power in a different way. You see it was your own misguided perception and belief around the difficult situation, which really gave your power away. It wasn’t actually the situation/experience itself. True power and moving through transitions happens when we change from the inside-out.  Acceptance is the beginning of changing from the inside-out.

  2. See the experience and the required process of transition as an Opportunity: If you are resisting the change, you’re likely seeing the change as a threat and the enemy. It’s something to deny, blame, and escape from. These are the mindsets and ways of our fragile and wounded self. This part of us wants to numb the pain and have someone else make it better/or back the way it was.

    It’s important to see and ask yourself: How are my perceptions and beliefs helping me move through this change? What is my pain and resistance reinforcing in me, that keeps me in this state of suffering?  Often in difficult times of change we become our worst critic and enemy, rather than a best friend and ally.

    When you are ready and able, it’s important to see the change, as the teacher and opportunity. Yes, transitions through difficult times, offer you the opportunity for learning and growth. The process of creation, birth and growth begins in the darkness and the struggle.

    The natural world teaches us the importance of the struggle. Take for example, of how the caterpillar transforms into the butterfly, from the struggle within the cocoon. For without the struggle, how would you learn, find a higher meaning to your experience, and grow?

Life is not meant to be easy, it’s meant to be meaningful. When you change your view of the situation, you create the higher meaning of your circumstance, and this allows for the opportunity to transition and transform yourself in empowering ways.

When you alter your thoughts and view of the change, you reduce your fear, your resistance and struggle around the uncertainty. Dr. Wayne Dyer said: “Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

Change and the process of transition, calls us to be open and willing to reframe our belief and choices around the situation; this is how we learn and grow from the difficult and painful experience.

Although change can seem scary and threatening, the true intent of life experiences, especially the difficult and painful ones, is to help us heal, grow wiser, and become more accepting and loving human beings, both to ourselves and with others. Accepting that life is impermanent, that things change, helps you realize, life is about change, and learning to transition‒ adjust and adapt.

Being Honest, Open and Willing, especially with yourself, is part of the HOW to accept the unacceptable, and begin the journey of transitioning from what was‒to what can be.

Want to learn more about love and transition check out my book: Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. www.justbelove1.com, www.amazon.com, www.barnes & noble.com

Are you struggling with moving through a change in your life? Please contact David Schroeder, if you would like assistance with moving through a life change and how to work the process of transition. David offers life transition counseling and coaching session’s in-person, by phone or Skype. Visit his website at transitionpathways.com.  Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength, a healthy and assertive way to help yourself transition through change.

Living Life as a STAR

As I wrote in my book, Just Be Love, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of being a STAR. It’s not about the star in the sky or being a movie or sports star. It’s about being a personal star in the game of life. Being more in our higher mind and heart-centered, rather than our in our ego and intellect state. The acronym for star in this case is to:  
  Surrender
  Trust
  Allow
  Receive                                                                                                     

Surrender: The STAR’s meaning of surrender, is not about giving in or giving up. It is not about focusing on what we believe we may lose; which is the human ego’s version of surrender. The spirits view of surrender is to let go of our human will and way, to the divine will and way. Spiritual surrender is the willingness to yield to the greater power and knowing, with the intention of gaining or benefiting for our highest good.

surrenderOne of the most difficult things for the human ego to understand and do, is to surrender its will to the divine will. Human nature is such that we tend to focus more on what we believe we will lose. We struggle to focus on the benefits of change and its call of surrender, so we become fearful and anxious, leading us to be protective, resistant and reactive. We want the status quo and to stay in our comfort zone. This is a primary reason why human’s struggle so with change and growth. There is no higher awareness and growth in the comfort zone and status quo. Change and transformation is a dynamic process, not a stagnant pond. Many of our life experiences call us to spiritual surrender-to accept the things we cannot understand from our human perspective. To surrender is to trust.


Trust
: Is openness and willingness, a sense of faith and hope in divine will and way. It is to believe in the divine’s loving guidance and grace. Faith is trust in the unknown and unseen, the things we desire, but are yet to be in physical form. Faith is a sense of hope, and hope is about the future, thus waiting. Our sense of trust and faith are tested in times of unknown and uncertainty. Trust is accepting that the divine universe always has our back and highest good in mind. Trust is the foundation of relationship building, and requires us to be vulnerable. With trust we can allow.

Allow: Is to accept and let life unfold within us and for us. It says ‘Yes” to love, life and the higher wiser self. To allow is to stand as a mountain, yet flow like water. Both the mountain and the water surrender, trust and allow, through strength, courage and flow. To allow is to be free of judgment and expectations, with no need for control or power-over. To allow is to receive.

Receive: Is to open ourselves to the gifts and wonders of the universe. Can you allow yourself to receive what the divine and your soul desires for you?  Many of ththe difficult and painful life experiences we have, are intended for us to receive unconditional love, acceptance and freedom, as we move through the struggle and pain. To receive requires us to feel worthy and deserving of the gift. We receive through the people, places and experiences that makes up our life. From the higher soul perspective, our life experiences offer us opportunities to be a STAR. To: Surrender, Trust and Allow, is to open our inner pathway to Receive divine love, goodness and truth.

What’s Needed Now is Acceptance

In uncertain times, we struggle with trusting the process. We are fearful, so we want control, we want to know the outcome, and we tend to predict a negative outcome ahead of time, while bypassing the process of “what is.” All this only feeds our fear, the sense of powerlessness, which fuels our anxiety.

Could it be in these uncertain times, that our individual and collective shadow aspects are being exposed more than ever? Could it be the duality of light and dark is coming more to the forefront to be recognized and reconciled within us individually and collectively? Sure seems like it to me, how about you? Transformation and growth always comes from the uncertainty and the struggle. Creation, birth comes from darkness.

Uncertainty, is a lesson and opportunity to practice Acceptance. So in this uncertain time, we are called to the act of acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean you like or agree with “what is.” Acceptance is to just be present to it. To be in the thoughts and behaviors of love and compassion with what is, rather than fear, resistance and resentment. Acceptance is to ride the wave of uncertainty, without losing yourself in the unknown of what is. Acceptance is shedding our will and way, and aligning with the divine power and will. With the knowing we will gain more than lose, as we trust and allow in the power greater than ourselves. Acceptance is getting to know/understand our neighbor, from their perspective, not just our own. To accept each others and our own (what we call) imperfections, is to discover the perfection. Perfection in spiritual terms, means to have Compassion for. The divine has compassion for all that is.

This quote below seems to fit for this current and uncertain time. All is right on schedule. The choice is always ours individually and collectively, as to who and how we want to be in times of uncertainty. I choose understanding, acceptance and compassion, for they equal Love! What do you choose?
Love & Light, David   quotescover-jpg-49

Why I love Fear & the Unknown

My work as a life transition coach and counselor, I love expanding my own learning, wisdom, growth, and making this part of my life purpose.  Than using this to assist others with their own learning and growth as they desire, this is very rewarding and inspiring for me.  We are all students and teachers to and with each other. 

I am passionate about challenging my ego’s desire for safety and comfort.  For there is no growth and meeting ones potential if I only want to be safe and comfortable.  There is no growth in staying in our comfort zone.  Growth happens when we are willing to go to the edge, go into the unknown and face our fears.  I have found that one of the biggest barriers to someones growth and potential is fear and what we perceive as the unknown. 

I assist people in helping them realize there are clues to our life and purpose within facing our fears and stepping into our unknown.  For when we face our fears and the unknown, we find our true self, inner wisdom, and potential.  

 Do you desire to discover your true self, tap into your inner wisdom, and reach more of your potential?  My coaching and counseling services assist people like you, who desire more out of their life, want to take life changing action toward self-mastery, growth and potential.

I would welcome the opportunity to partner with you, in moving through your fears and discovering what you fear in your unknown is actually where the answers and potential are revealed for you.   Contact David at 815-238-4521 or email.